


High and Dry

by unwashedwonder



Series: High and Dry [1]
Category: Smosh, Smosh Games
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-04-07
Updated: 2014-04-07
Packaged: 2018-01-18 12:29:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,250
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1428562
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unwashedwonder/pseuds/unwashedwonder
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>iancorn AU. Ian is a single dad to his son, Anthony, who realizes that most children have two parents; a mom and a dad. This begins to stress Ian out, for he may have more than one thing to explain to Anthony; some children have only one parent, and that some have two dads.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Everything In Its Right Place

"Daaaaaaad!"

"What is it, Anthony?" Ian rushed to his son's side, concerned.

"How do you turn it on?" He pointed at the TV.

"You can't turn the TV on?" Ian frowned, "You're almost seven, buddy.  
You need to learn."

Anthony sat in his father's lap and grabbed the remote, "Teach me!"

"You see this button?" Ian pointed to a big red one.

He nodded.

"You can read that, can't you?"

He nodded again, "Power."

"Good boy." He ruffled Anthony's wavy hair, "It turns the TV on."

Anthony took the remote in his tiny hands and pressed the button. The  
screen flickered to life, as did Anthony's face.

"We did it!"

"No, buddy, you did it."

Anthony put his hands on his hips, "No! We did it. Together."

Ian smiled, "That's right buddy. Teamwork."

"Teamwork!"

"Did you learn that at school?"

As much as he hated to admit it, he did not want Anthony at school.  
All he did was worry about his son. Anthony's mother had dropped him  
off at the doorstep of Ian's dorm in college. He took Anthony in, and  
sure enough, after a few tests, he found out that the kid was in fact  
his. Since that day, Ian's number one priority was Anthony. His  
safety, his happiness, his well-being. Everything.

When Anthony started school, Ian found that his life was awfully  
boring. Besides his late night stand up at several bars around the  
city, he found that he needed a real day job. He found one at a  
theater down the street from their apartment. The theater was for  
improv comedy. The audience would yell something at the actors and  
they'd have to obey the commands on the spot. He started as the desk  
worker, and he was moved up to writer, and now he holds those two jobs  
as well as being an actor.

He and a group of three others held their own show, and it was  
occasionally broadcasted on television. They each had their own job.  
Whatever it was they were discussing, they slipped some comedy into  
it.

Ian was notorious for reusing jokes in the most obvious and cheesy way  
possible because there aren't many jokes you can make about weather.

"Yes." Anthony nodded, "I did learn that at school."

Ian had taught Anthony to read, write, and speak properly before  
school, so Anthony was top of his class.

"Good for you." He smiled, ruffling his son's hair again, "I'm proud  
of you, buddy."

"Thanks dada."

Ian beamed down at his son, "So, how about you come to the theater  
with me since school got out early?"

Anthony nodded happily. He loved working at the desk.

Everyone at the theater knew and loved Anthony. He made the work a  
little more colorful, literally, by drawing pictures with the actors.  
He would draw after what they said, like an improv sort of drawing.  
Anthony loved it.

Matt immediately lit up like a lightbulb when he saw him, "There's my  
favorite little worker!"

Anthony ran over and hugged him, "Uncle Matt!"

"Hey darling." Mari walked over from the desk, "Looks like I'll have a  
partner in crime today."

"Mari!" Anthony looked completely amazed by the amount of love he was getting.

"Why did no one tell me Anthony was here?" Joshua stormed out, "I  
heard all the racket and figured it could only mean one thing."

"Josh!" Anthony fell to the floor in excitement.

"Is he....is he okay?"

"Hey it's newbie." Mari laughed, "And he's fine."

"David, this is Anthony. He's Ian's son."

Ian looked over at the new guy, "Hey newbie."

David rolled his eyes, "David Moss."

"Ian Hecox. Nice to meet you."

"You too." He nodded once.

"Newbie!" Anthony screamed at him, hugging him tightly.

"Oh." David smiled, holding the desk to balance him, "Hey."

"There's so much people!" Anthony cried, trying to grab everyone in a group hug.

Ian laughed and gave in to the hug.

"So, have you seen some of newbie's work?" Mari asked later on in the  
day, pushing a large packet of papers towards Ian, "He lives with Matt  
I believe."

Ian looked up from his computer, "No, I'll get to it, though."

"Will you?"

Ian sighed, "Yes, mother, I will."

Mari rolled her eyes, "Just read it. It's really funny. Watch the  
tapes too. He's good."

"Is he part of the show?"

"We all think he should be, but it's up to you."

"What would he discuss?"

"Well, we need someone to cover games and movies."

"Can he do that?"

"Of course. He's good at that. You need to watch the tapes."

"I will, dammit!" He yelled, thankful that Matt and Josh had taken  
Anthony out for a special treat.

Mari laughed, "Alright alright."

Matt and Josh brought Anthony back and they all met in the recording room.

"Does Josh have his pop culture news ready?" Ian asked.

"As always." Mari nodded, holding up the papers.

"Does Matt have his regular news all together?"

"Yes."

"Do you have your music ready?"

"Of course."

"Do you have your female tips for feminism and sexism ready?"

"When do I not?"

"True."

"Do you have your weather ready?"

"If you mean, using the same joke I did last week, then yes."

This was their daily routine. Every week day Ian and Mari went over  
the same thing. Same questions, same answers.

"We're ready then?"

"We're ready."

"Then let's make the magic happen."


	2. All I Need

Ian went up to the green screen to speak about the weather when he noticed that Anthony had duped Newbie into carrying him around the place, which he seemed to be happy to do.

He was honestly surprised with the way Newbie acted around Anthony. He seemed to treat Anthony as if he were his own son. Ian noticed that Anthony seemed to be very comfortable around Newbie in return.

Ian smiled, making Mari yell at him about how he was supposed to be ready.

He rolled his eyes and put on a cocky grin, "Hello California. My name is Ian Hecox and this....is the weather."

The breakdown from 'Paranoid Android' by Radiohead rang out for a few seconds before Ian began talking.

"That's it for Ian." Matt gave him a high five, "Looks like Newbie and Anthony are getting along pretty well, huh?

Ian nodded, "You might not be the only uncle soon."

Matt snorted, "Yeah, I doubt that."

Josh walked over and whispered something to Matt, who gave him an award winning glare before pushing him away, "No. Why would you even think about saying something like that?"

Josh opened his mouth to speak.

"Did you even think about saying that?"

He nodded, "I thought....long and hard....about that."

Matt made a face, "You're disgusting. I'll meet you at home."

"Mari!" Ian yelled, turning to find her right in front of him, "Yes?"

He looked back; Josh had the car keys and was trying to convince Matt to leave with him.

"You said Newbie lived with Matt?"

"Yes."

"Does Josh also live there?"

"Practically." Mari rolled her eyes, "I swear to god if he doesn't ask Matt out soon, I'm doing it for him."

"Wait what?"

"They totally like each other. It's so obvious."

Ian glanced at them, "Yeah I can see it."

"Anyway, I should probably be heading out now." Mari shrugged, "It was nice to see Anthony again. Tell me what he wants for Christmas. I want to be able to get him something good."

"Mari, Christmas? You don't need to get him anything, you got him a really expensive birthday present."

"Just....let me know, okay?"

"Okay." He rolled his eyes, "I'll see you on Monday."

"See you then."

During Ian's conversation with Mari, he noticed that Newbie and Anthony had gone outside on the porch. Ian went out to follow them.

He stopped in the doorway, leaning against the doorframe. He watched as Newbie finished reading the first of the Fantastic Four comics to Anthony.

"I'll bring you the second one tomorrow, alright?"

"Oh, he doesn't come every day." Ian spoke up.

Newbie jumped, "I....I didn't see you there."

"Dad!" Anthony cried happily, running to hug Ian.

"Did I....Did I do something wrong?" Newbie frowned.

"New-David, was it?" Ian raised an eyebrow.

David nodded, "David Moss. You almost called me Newbie, didn't you?"

Ian held his hands up, "Sorry man. Can't help it. Mari gave me some samples of your work. I'll have to check them out."

"Thank you sir." He nodded, "Also, when is the next time Anthony needs a babysitter? When will he be back at work?"

Ian grinned, "Wow, you like him already."

"Babysitter!" Anthony cried, "Pick Newbie!"

"Alright alright!" Ian laughed, "Newbie can be your next babysitter."

"I just...." David looked down, "I don't know. I've always wanted a kid."

"You can't have one?"

He shook his head.

"Infertile?"

"Not interested."

Ian nodded. He knew how that was. He didn't want to probe too far into David's life to find out what that meant, but he had some suspicions.

"I understand."

"That's not going to affect anything, is it?"

"What would that affect?"

"I don't know....My chances of getting the full time job. My chances of babysitting Anthony."

"All I need is the résumé, your promise not to physically or mentally harm Anthony, and to know your sense of humor and you're golden."

"Well, I can promise you that I won't hurt him in any way, and the other two are accomplished by the packet and spending more time with me."

"I have a stand up gig tomorrow night, why don't you come over for dinner and then watch Anthony?"

David smiled, "Sounds good to me."

"Perfect." Ian nodded, taking his son's hand, "Well, I'll see you then."

David waved goodbye and Ian smiled back.

"Bye Newbie!" Anthony called at him, waving with a huge grin on his face.


	3. Big Ideas [Don't Get Any]

Dear Ian,

I really hate to do this to you, but I have to. He’s yours. Ours. I was not planning on having a child, but my friends convinced me to either give it up for adoption or give it to you. I decided to give him to you, figuring that it’s what you would’ve wanted. I know we broke up, but he’s still your son. I hope you can find someone who will love this child. I hope you can find him a nice home if he can’t find one with you. I hope you find time for him. I hope you find yourself. Pray to St. Anthony that you do.

Sincerely,

Mel

Yes, Ian still had the note. Yes, Ian still read it every day. Yes, Ian named Anthony after the patron saint of finding things, even if he himself wasn’t strongly associated with any religion.

He tucked the note away in his drawer and pulled his blazer off, setting it on the chair.

Anthony came bounding down the stairs.

“Remember what I taught you?” Ian asked him.

“About Newbie?” Anthony frowned.

Ian sighed, “Buddy, his name is David.”

“Newbie.” Anthony said.

“Dave?”

Newbie.”

“Davey?”

“Newbie!” Anthony pouted.

“Alright, alright, Newbie.” Ian gave up, “You can call him Newbie.”

Anthony smiled triumphantly.

“Here should be here any minute, so be nice, okay? I’ll stay with you guys for a bit, but then he is going to watch you while I go to work, got it?”

He nodded, “Got it.”

Ian ruffled his son’s hair, “Good boy. You need to be good for Dav-Newbie.”

“I promise.”

“And one more thing….”

Anthony frowned.

“No funny business, understand?”

He nodded.

“Those are the Newbie rules.”

Anthony giggled.

Ian felt it come up, “Get it?”

“Got it.”

“Good.”

“Great.”

Ian smiled. That had been his thing with Anthony for as long as he could remember. It was how he knew that Anthony was paying attention.

The doorbell rang. Before Ian could even process what was happening, Anthony rushed to the door, tearing it open and revealing David.

“Newbie!”

David looked confused, but he squatted down so he was at Anthony’s level, “Hey buddy. Are you going to call my Newbie forever?”

Anthony nodded.

“Even when I’m old?”

He nodded again.

David grinned, “Alright. What should I call you?”

“Mr. Fantastic!” He cheered, stretching his arms up as high as he could.

“You certainly are Mr. Fantastic. Look at that stretch! Amazing! Or should I say, fantastic?” David said with a smile.

Anthony hugged him, “Fantastic.”

“Look what I brought.” David opened his backpack and Anthony pulled out a dozen comic books.

“Whoa! Newbie! Fantastic!” He grinned.

Ian smiled, “Thanks a million for this, David.”

“Newbie.”

“Fine, fine. Newbie.” Ian put his hand on David’s shoulder.

David smiled over at him, “He’s too young for the movie, isn’t he?”

Ian nodded, “Maybe for his seventh birthday.”

Anthony jumped up and down, “Hurray!”

Ian went over the regular information about Anthony for his safety with David; allergies, medicine, diet, bed time, emergency phone number.

“Daaaaad.” Anthony lay on the ground, “What’s for dinner?”

“I ordered us a pizza.”

Anthony popped up like a rocket, “Pizza!”

David smiled, “Pizza sounds perfect to me.”

“Pizza pizza!” Anthony grinned, “Pizza!”

“Whoa buddy.” Ian stopped him before he could run into anything, “It’s just pizza.”

Anthony went limp and slipped out of Ian’s arms, “Just pizza? Dad, pizza is the greatest thing in the world.”

“I agree.” David nodded, picking Anthony up.

“See? Newbie agrees with me.”

“Well, Newbie is lame.” Ian grinned at David, who just rolled his eyes.

Anthony crossed his arms, “Take it back.”

“Fine fine.” Ian held his hands up, “Newbie is not lame.”

The doorbell rang.

“Pizza!” Anthony yelled, grabbing the money from Ian’s hand and taking it to the front door, paying the man who delivered it, “Keep the change because pizza!”

Ian took the boxes from him, “Keep the change because pizza I guess.”

Anthony danced around the table, setting out paper plates, singing about pizza.

“Is he always this excited?” David asked.

“He’s a six year old boy, what do you expect?” Ian laughed.

In all honesty, that was the best night Ian had had in a long time. He was actually laughing for real with someone his own age, and not just his son. He finally felt like he had someone to talk to, and maybe even open up to.

Of course, Ian had Mari, but, because she was a girl, Ian felt that she couldn’t quite fully empathize with his situation, since he was the male taking in the child and not the female. Not that Ian was sexist. He had Mari to shoot down every joke he had ever made about women and now he was trained to keep his mouth shut.

“Remember what I said?” He asked Anthony as he grabbed his jacket and headed outside.

Anthony nodded, “No big ideas.”

“Don’t try anything funny. No shenanigans.” He grinned, kissing the top of his head, “Go to bed at 9:00. I’ll let you stay up a bit since Newbie is special.”

“Good luck, Dada. I love you.” Anthony waved.

“Love you too, buddy.”

“Good luck.” David smiled. 

“No, good luck to you.” He winked at Anthony before shutting the door.


	4. Bullet Proof...I Wish I Was

When Ian came home, Anthony was fast asleep. He went downstairs to pay David, who he found was also fast asleep, only David was on the couch.

He got himself a glass of water and went out to David, gently shaking him, “Hey Newbie.”

David swatted his hand at Ian’s, missing completely, “Go away.”

“You should probably stay here if you’re this tired.” Ian frowned, sitting beside him.

He sat up and yawned, “Yeah alright.”

“How was Anthony?”

“He was great. He was polite and helpful and he even offered to clear our plates after dessert.”

Ian chuckled, “Man, I wish he treated the other babysitters that nicely.”

David smiled, “He’s a good kid.”

“He takes after his mother.”

“Where is she?” David frowned.

Ian shrugged, “No idea.”

“You just let her go wherever?”

“I haven’t seen her since Anthony was born. I didn’t even know she was pregnant until Ant showed up at my doorstep.”

David frowned, “What?”

“We broke up a little after she got pregnant I’m assuming. The kid was mine so she gave him to me.”

“Did you break up because she was pregnant?”

Ian paused, “I don’t….I don’t think so. I really have no idea if that was it.”

“Maybe you should ask her.”

“Maybe I should….If I can find her that is.”

David nodded, “Sorry for prying into your personal life.”

“It’s fine.” Ian shrugged, “I don’t mind. I can trust you. My life was pretty messed up until the whole webcast thing.”

“Kind of bittersweet?”

Ian nodded, “Yeah. The bitterness comes from the fact that Anthony will never have a normal family, but the sweetness comes from the fact that he does have a family.”

“Anthony is your number one priority, isn’t he?”

“Absolutely.”

David smiled, “See, I wish I had a kid I could care about this much.”

“I just wish he could’ve grown up in a regular family. Whenever I go to school meetings, they sling these awful things at me. But I’m trying to make it better. I’m trying to be more defendant of myself. More….”

“Bulletproof?” David offered.

Ian shook his head, “I wish I was.”

“I have the same feeling.”

Ian grinned, “Thanks for all the help tonight. It really meant a lot to me.”

“Anytime.” He grinned, “I’m just glad you’re letting me stay. I’m pretty sure that Josh and Matt are doing the unmentionable as we speak.”

Ian made a face, “Don’t put that image in my head!”

“What?” David frowned, “Gays?”

“No, I’m fine with that, trust me. It’s the thought of them doing the unmentionable.” He held his head in his hands, “You’re disgusting make it go away.”

David laughed, “Oops. Want me to sleep down here on the couch?”

“Well, we have a guest room.” Ian led David over to it.

“Thanks man. I have a feeling I’ll be here a lot due to my roommate and-hopefully-his new boyfriend.”

“Hopefully?”

“Well, yeah.” David shrugged, “I want them to be happy with each other.”

“And are they?”

“They seem to be.”

“Then I’m glad, you know? I’m happy for them.”

“I am too.” David smiled, “But I don’t want to be happy for them in the same house while they’re happy in each other.”

Ian laughed so hard he thought he might’ve woken up Anthony.

“I haven’t laughed that hard since….” He sat up, “For as long as I can remember. And I’m a comedian for a living.”

David smiled, “I’m honored to be the one to make you laugh that way.”

“Well, I am exhausted. Stand up. It drains you.”

“I’m sorry for keeping you up. I’ll make you two breakfast tomorrow morning.”

“You don’t have to do that.”

“I want to. As a thanks. Also, just a tip.”

“Hmm?”

“Anthony told me today that you’ve never taken him to the zoo.”

“I….I haven’t taken him to the zoo before, no.”

“You know the perfect place to start?”

“No.”

“The San Diego Zoo.”

“David that’s hours away.”

“I’ll take him.”

“No, I want to be there. Maybe….Maybe tomorrow morning we can drive down there and spend more than one day at the zoo so he can get the full picture.”

“Sounds fine to me.” David smiled, “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“I’ll see you then.” He grinned.


End file.
